Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
