Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
