my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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