It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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