Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
