Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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