oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I have tasted many bathrooms
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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