What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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