I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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