why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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