i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
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i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
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I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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