i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
