Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(640): View more from

I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease

Fav 12 810 1277
share tweet
(850): View more from Florida

So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.

Fav 17 2896 4366
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(715): View more from Wisconsin

You're barking up the wrong lesbian.

Fav 11 4663 1473
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.

Fav 6 1646 1395
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(312): View more from Illinois

I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?

Fav 20 3824 1048
share tweet
(573): View more from Missouri

i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.

Fav 2 833 1208
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.

Fav 9 664 1653
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(408): View more from California

I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.

Fav 5 1088 806
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

You're going to love the baby's room.

(1-519): View more from Ontario

I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.

Fav 0 40 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT