Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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