i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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