Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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