Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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