Ambien. No doubt about it.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
