Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
