Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
