Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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