Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize