Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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