Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
