Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
