i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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