Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
