I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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