I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
