I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I need a beard to bite.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
