Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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