What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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