would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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