there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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