Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
