If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
