whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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