I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
