I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
