I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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