Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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