Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
