god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
don't judge my taste in strippers
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
