Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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