Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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