Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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