so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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