Banned from zoo.
Again?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
