So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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