I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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