I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
