I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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