I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
