were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize