just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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