You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize