No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
