Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
