i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
