none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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