I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
