Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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