I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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