I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
