You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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