Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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