I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
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Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
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You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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