And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
